Yuav Thuam Li Cas Kom Raug. Phau Ntawv

2024 Tus sau: Harry Day | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 15:46

Tus Sau: Ekaterina Sigitova Source:

Phau ntawv no yuav tsum tau sau ntev. Thiab kuv tau sau sau cia rau tag nrho xyoo tas los, txhua lub sijhawm kuv tau ntsib cov kab lus zoo li

"Zoo, koj tau sau qhov no, yog li koj yuav tsum tau npaj rau kev thuam",

"Koj tsis tsim nyog pom qhov kev thuam"

"Koj ua txhaum ntawm qhov tsim nyog tau txais kev thuam"

"Koj, thaj, tsis tuaj yeem thuam, tab sis koj tsuas tuaj yeem qhuas"

"Kuv tsuas yog muab tswv yim rau koj"

"Kuv xav pab koj, tab sis koj!"

"Nov yog internet, menyuam"

Thiab ntxiv rau thiab ntxiv mus.

Kuv tsis tuaj yeem nyob ntsiag to lawm. Sau ntawv.

Cov neeg! Ua tsaug ntau uas koj tau saib xyuas zoo. Nws txias heev thaum ib tus neeg txhawj xeeb txog lwm tus uas lawv siv sijhawm thiab kev paub los tawm tswv yim thiab thuam. Qhov no muaj nqis heev, thiab nws tseem ceeb heev. Thov saib xyuas qhov tsis txaus ntseeg no hauv koj tus kheej.

Tsuas yog hais txog qhov tseeb tias qhov saum toj no tsuas yog kev thuam, ib tus neeg dag ntxias koj.

Dab tsi peb hu rau kev thuam thiab tau caij nyoog nrog txhua yam ntawm cov ntses no, qhov tseeb, tseem tsis tau ze rau nws. Hmoov tsis zoo, peb tsis tau qhia los thuam peb txhua tus - tsis hais hauv tsev kawm ntawv, lossis lwm qhov chaw (tej zaum, hauv tsev kawm ntawv sau ntawv). Tab sis peb txhua tus tau qhia kom ua nruj thiab txawm ua nruj ua tsiv rau peb tus kheej thiab lwm tus. Yog li ntawd, raws li kev thuam ntawm kev thuam, ntau tus neeg zoo tab tom sib zog ua phem rau lwm tus, kev tsis txaus siab, kev thov, tsis xis nyob, tsis xav tau lus qhia, duab, pob tawb, lub thawv ntawv thiab aub me. Ntau zaus ua rau ib leeg ua tsis raug cai. Thiab kev thuam tiag, uas yuav txhawb kev txhim kho - thiab uas yog qhov xav tau tiag tiag! - thaum kawg, heev, tsawg heev. Hais lus nrog teeb thiab teeb, koj yuav tsum tau saib, thiab tom qab ntawd nws tsis ntseeg tias yuav muaj.

Cia peb tham txog kev thuam, hais txog yuav ua li cas zoo thiab yuav ua li cas, yog tias ua tau, tsis txhob ua phem - thiab sim hloov peb lub ntiaj teb kom zoo dua. TAB SIS? TAB SIS?

Yog li dab tsi yog kev thuam? Nov yog kev tshuaj xyuas, tshuaj xyuas thiab tshuaj xyuas ntawm ib qho haujlwm, tshwm sim lossis khoom (thiab txawm tias ib tus neeg), nrog rau qhov qhia tau ntawm qhov muaj peev xwm txhim kho.

Lub hom phiaj ntawm kev thuam yog dab tsi? Oddly txaus, tab sis - los pab nws lub hom phiaj txhawm rau txhim kho nws tus kheej lossis nws tsim, txhawm rau txhawb kev txhim kho. Kev thuam raug pov tseg ua rau muaj kev xav zoo thiab txhawb siab, vim tias lub hom phiaj ntawm kev thuam nkag siab: nws tsis yog ib leeg, nws tau txais kev pab, lawv txhawj xeeb txog qhov ua tau zoo ntawm nws txoj haujlwm los ntawm "xub pwg rau xub pwg".

Ib tus neeg ntawm Lavxias kev coj noj coj ua feem ntau xav tsis tsuas yog sib cav nrog nqe lus dhau los, tab sis kom tsoo nws mus rau smithereens, vim nws tsis haum rau hauv nws lub taub hau. Thiab muaj qhov laj thawj rau qhov no: qhov tseeb yog, cov neeg nyeem nyeem, uas koj thiab kuv tau loj hlob nyob rau qhov xwm txheej hnyav heev, nyob rau hauv uas muaj ob peb carrots, thiab muaj ntau ntau lo ntau tshaj qhov peb xav tau. Kuv txhais tau tias tsis yog tsev neeg coob (txawm tias lawv ib yam nkaus), tab sis cov xwm txheej feem ntau, ib puag ncig uas tau puag ncig peb tau ntau xyoo. Txog rau ib puag ncig no, huab hwm coj "tsis ua rau muaj kev cuam tshuam tsis zoo" yog qhov ib txwm muaj, uas yog, qhov tsis sib xws ntawm pej xeem cov kev tawm tsam ntawm kev ua nruj ua tsiv rau txhua yam, yam tsis tau tshuaj xyuas seb lawv puas tsim nyog, seb lawv puas tsim nyog.

Qhov no, nyeg, tseem muaj laj thawj:

ciam teb tsis zoo ntawm qhov ntsuas ntawm ntau tiam neeg;

tsis muaj peev xwm muaj tus kheej qhov cuam tshuam thiab tsis xis nyob;

kev txi, txaus siab rau nyiaj mus dhau, thiab tib lub sijhawm - kev ua phem thiab kev lim hiam (tseem nyob rau qhov teev tiam)

nws tus kheej Sab Hauv Kev Ntsuam Xyuas ntawm qhov loj heev;

muaj zog, muaj ntau txheej txheej txheej txheej txheej (hais txog qhov raug txim, vim li cas txhua qhov no thiaj xav tau-piv txwv li, txhawm rau kom tsis txhob khav txiv, loj hlob los ua txiv neej, ua txhaum rau tus kheej, thiab lwm yam);

thiab lwm yam txheej txheem tsis zoo siab heev, ob leeg ua ke thiab tus kheej.

Raws li cov txiaj ntsig ntawm tag nrho cov txheej txheem no, nrog rau cov dab neeg tsis txaus siab uas tshwm sim rau tib neeg, qee txoj cai thiab kev xav tau tsim hauv peb lub taub hau. Ntawm lawv yog cov cai / cov lus qhia hais txog kev thuam. Piv txwv li, yog tias koj google lo lus "thuam" (hauv Lavxias), tom qab ntawd cov txiaj ntsig yuav luag tag nrho muaj cov ntawv hais txog kev puas tsuaj - txog kev liam, tsis txaus siab, tsis txaus siab thiab npau taws. Nov yog li cas lo lus thiab qhov tshwm sim no tau pom hauv peb kab lis kev cai.

Hmoov tsis zoo, txhua qhov ntawm peb cov tswv yim raug cuam tshuam thiab cuam tshuam, yuav luag tag lossis tag nrho tsis ua ke nrog kev nkag siab tiag ntawm kev thuam thiab nws lub hom phiaj. Kuv paub tseeb tias qhov no tuaj yeem thiab yuav tsum raug kho, ua ntej tshaj plaws - hauv peb tus kheej. Qhov no suav nrog kev sau phau ntawv qhia thiab cov lus qhia thiab sib qhia kev paub uas yuav pab cov uas xav kawm paub yuav ua li cas thiaj tawm tsam qhov txawv.

Rau cov uas tsis xav kawm, tab sis xav txuas ntxiv ua kom yooj yim, Kuv hais kom kaw nplooj ntawv ntawm qhov chaw no, vim tias kuv tsis tuaj yeem pab koj:-(

Thiab nrog cov uas tseem nyob, cia saib ob qhov ua yuam kev feem ntau uas tib neeg ntawm peb lub siab xav ua hauv cov txheej txheem ntawm kev thuam.

1) Ua ntej, lawv muab lawv cov kev xav yam tsis nug

Lub tswv yim ntawm kev teb tsuas yog xav tau (rau ib yam dab tsi) kuj tseem nyuaj heev rau tus neeg ntawm peb lub siab kom nkag siab. Lub npov "los ntawm lub neej ntawd" tau teeb tsa hauv peb lub taub hau kom txhua qhov kev tshwm sim ntawm ib tus neeg hauv ib puag ncig txhais tau tias txhua tus neeg hla mus los muaj txoj cai tsis lees paub los tshuaj xyuas cov kev tshwm sim no, rau txim, hais qee yam txog lawv, ua li cas rau qhov zoo tshaj plaws ntawm lawv tus kheej lub zog thiab lub siab. Thiab cia siab tias lawv yuav mloog nws (lossis zoo dua, yog tias lawv sau ntawv thiab ua tsaug rau nws). Tsis tas li, los ntawm lub neej ntawd, muaj tus cim "ua txhaum, npau taws thiab hais tawm yog tias koj tsis xav mloog (lees txais, ua tsaug)."

Tsis muaj leej twg tuaj yeem piav qhia tau tias nws yog qhov tseeb tiag!

Txawm tias tam sim no kuv tsis paub tseeb tias kuv yuav tuaj yeem qw. Tab sis, koj pom, kuv sim. Tseem muaj kev cia siab.

Cov neeg! Yog tias tsis muaj kev thov hauv ib puag ncig rau koj qhov kev xav, tom qab ntawd koj tsuas yog yuav tsum tsis txhob muaj qhov xav kom "thuam". Thiab ntau dua li ntawd, yuav tsum tsis muaj kev ua txhaum uas ib tus neeg tsis txaus siab rau koj qhov kev xav thiab koj yog nws qhov chaw. Koj tuaj yeem muaj kev xav, kev xav, thiab kev tawm tsam los teb rau txhua qhov kev txhawb siab. Tab sis lawv tsuas yog koj li, thiab koj yuav tsum nrog lawv. Yog tias, rau qee qhov laj thawj, lawv tam sim ntawd muaj cov duab vector hauv cov lus taw qhia rau qhov chaw ntawm qhov kev txhawb nqa, tom qab ntawd qhov no yog cov khib nyiab tsis zoo, ntawm ntau lub ntsiab lus ib zaug. Ua haujlwm nrog kev thab plaub tsis zoo, thov, thiab tsis txhob ntaus lawv txog lwm tus yam tsis muaj dab tsi. Tus nplawm yuav tsis ua haujlwm.

2) Qhov thib ob, tib neeg txiav txim siab txhua yam raws li kev thuam, tshwj tsis yog nws.

Qhov laj thawj tseem ceeb, raws li kuv tau hais dhau los, yog qhov chaw ib puag ncig hnyav uas peb tau loj hlob tuaj, thiab kev cuam tshuam ntawm kev nkag siab cuam tshuam nrog nws. Raws li qhov cuam tshuam, peb ua rau kev thuam tsuas yog txhua yam tsis zoo nyob rau hauv kab - ob leeg rau peb tus kheej thiab los ntawm peb tus kheej.

Ntawm no kuv twb xav muab piv txwv, vim tias nrog lawv nws tam sim ntawd meej meej tias txhais li cas.

1. Cov Lus Tsis Txaus Rau Tus Kheej

Piv txwv:

Kuv tsis nyiam nws, nws tsis pab kuv, nws tsis nqa cov ntaub ntawv rau kuv, nws tsis siv rau kuv, Kuv tsis zoo li ntawd, thiab lwm yam.

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Koj qhia qee qhov ntawm koj txoj kev xav lossis kev xav: piv txwv li, kev cia siab tsis zoo, kev thab plaub txog lub sijhawm siv, kev nkag siab, cov ntaub ntawv hais txog koj tus kheej, thiab lwm yam tsis hais txog nws, thiab tsis hais txog nws tsim. Nws hloov tawm me ntsis zoo li cov lus qhia me me - "Kuv tuaj hais tias lawv yuav tsis suav kuv."

Muaj ib qho kev zam: yog tias koj yog tus sawv cev zoo heev ntawm cov neeg tuaj saib uas txhua qhov no tau tsim, tom qab ntawd koj txoj kev xav tseem ceeb, lawv yuav tsum raug coj mus rau hauv tus account. Hmoov tsis zoo, 9 tawm ntawm 10 tus "thuam" tsis muaj kev txaus siab rau qhov no ib yam, uas, ntawm chav kawm, tuaj yeem txaj muag, vim tias koj xav tham txog koj tus kheej.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Feem ntau, ua tsis meej pem: koj yog leej twg? Tab sis nws tuaj yeem txhawj xeeb thiab poob kev txhawb siab yog tias nws yog qhov tseem ceeb rau nws kom txhua tus nyiam.

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Ntxiv vim li cas koj xav tias cov ntaub ntawv hais txog koj kev xav thiab kev xav yuav yog qhov tseem ceeb. Yog tias nws tsis tuaj yeem ntxiv qee yam zoo li ntawd, tsis txhob hais dab tsi.

2. Kev ntsuam xyuas qhov tsis zoo tseem ceeb

Piv txwv:

Tsis zoo, txaus ntshai, qee yam tsis tseem ceeb, tsis muaj qab hau, tsis muaj qab hau, nqus, zoo, thab plaub, tab sis qhov no yog qhov tsis muaj tseeb, thiab lwm yam.

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Primitive - txhais tau tias yooj yim, thawj qib uas tsis muaj kev ntxhov siab. Tsis muaj txiaj ntsig los ntawm qhov kev ntsuas no, vim nws yog tus yam ntxwv thiab yooj yim heev, uas txhais tau tias nws tsis tuaj yeem "suav nrog hauv kev txheeb cais" thiab tsis tuaj yeem yog lub platform rau kev txhim kho (tsis muaj dab tsi tau teev tseg). Ntawm no, ib yam, qhov kev piav qhia saum toj no siv: yog tias koj yog tus neeg sawv cev zoo heev ntawm cov neeg tuaj saib, lossis, piv txwv li, tus thawj coj ntawm tus neeg thuam, yog li koj lub tswv yim tseem ceeb. Raws li koj yuav kwv yees, feem coob ntawm "cov neeg thuam" tsis yog nyob ntawm no lossis nyob ntawd, tab sis lawv zoo siab los ntsuas txhua yam nyob ib puag ncig, yam tsis muaj kev cuam tshuam ntau dhau.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Kev chim siab, tsis pom kev, nkees nkees - nyob ntawm qhov nkag siab rau qhov kev ntsuas ua ntej.

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Nyuaj dua (rau qhov no koj yuav tsum tau nyem thiab xav txog koj txoj kev xav, kom nkag siab qhov tseeb lawv tshwm sim los ntawm dab tsi). Piav qhia vim li cas koj cov kev paub tseem ceeb (piv txwv li, koj yog cov neeg mloog). Yog tias koj qhov kev xav tsis muaj txoj hauv kev tseem ceeb, tab sis tsuas yog tawg nrog koj, tsis txhob hais dab tsi.

3. Hloov mus rau tus kheej

Piv txwv:

Txhua qhov kev thuam tus kheej, kev liam, hais txog ntawm cov ntaub ntawv los ntawm tus kheej keeb kwm ntawm lub hom phiaj ntawm "kev thuam", hais txog qhov xwm txheej ntawm qhov khoom, kev tshuaj xyuas ntawm nws cov tshuaj tiv thaiv rau txhua yam no, thiab lwm yam.

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Thiab ntxiv kuv yuav tsum hais tias lub ntsiab lus no yog qhov sib txawv ntawm qhov chaw hais lus Lavxias (hmoov tsis zoo). "Kev txaj muag ntawm tus neeg ua liaj ua teb tsis zoo" raws li cov lus nug txog piano, nco ntsoov? Ntawm no, raws qhov no. Peb feem ntau tsis paub yuav txiav txim siab li cas ib qho xwm txheej, kev xav lossis cov khoom lag luam nyob ib leeg ntawm tus kheej ntawm tus tsim. Peb ua siab ncaj xav tias txhua yam txuas nrog, uas txhais tau tias peb muaj txoj cai los tham txog ib tus neeg, zoo li yog nws yog tus uas tau raug tshuaj xyuas. Ib qho ntxiv, ntau zaus kev hloov pauv mus rau tus cwm pwm yog siv los ua lub hauv paus rau qhov tsis muaj txiaj ntsig lossis tsis muaj txiaj ntsig yam uas tus neeg tau ua, lossis txhawm rau nws mob ntau dua, nrhiav qhov tsis zoo. Tsis muaj leej twg tuaj yeem hloov tus cwj pwm, thiab ntau ntxiv yog li tsis yog txhua tus xav ua nws, yog li vim li cas thab nws txhua?

Kuv nco qab qhov piv txwv ib txwm - liam cov poj niam ntawm kev raug mob raws li qhov laj thawj rau lawv txoj haujlwm uas muaj kev raug mob yog qee yam txaj muag thiab tsis lees paub txoj haujlwm nws tus kheej. Tsawg tus neeg tuaj yeem tham txog kev nyiam poj niam sib nrug ntawm tus kheej ntawm feminists.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Qhov ntau yog dav, nyob ntawm keeb kwm yav dhau: ua rau xav tsis thoob, tsis meej pem, chim siab, npau taws, txaj muag, tsis muaj zog (koj tsis tuaj yeem hloov koj tus kheej, uas txhais tau tias koj yuav tseem yog lub hom phiaj, yog li nws yuav zoo dua yog tsis ua dab tsi).

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Nws nyuaj heev, tab sis ua tau. Tshem tus cwm pwm tag nrho, thiab txiav txim siab cov khoom lossis txheej txheem cais tawm ntawm nws. Yog tias nws tsis ua haujlwm txhua, xav txog tias koj tus phooj ywg ze lossis tus hluas nkauj tau ua nws, piv txwv li. txhua qhov kev sib txuas yav dhau los nrog tus neeg uas kos koj tau nres ua haujlwm. Tom qab ntawv xyuas seb puas tseem muaj lub siab xav hais ib yam.

4. Kev ua phem

Piv txwv:

Kev ua phem ncaj qha - thuam, hais lus phem, tsis ncaj - hais lus thuam thiab hais lus phem, ua phem tsis zoo - zoo, tam sim no yog qee yam, thiab lwm yam.

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Txhua yam yooj yim ntawm no. Kev tawm tsam hnyav raws li kev thuam ntawm kev thuam yog kev sim teb rau ib tus neeg npau taws, khib siab, tsis xis nyob, thiab lwm yam kev xav los ntawm kev tawm tsam cov khoom. Kev xav tuaj yeem tshwm sim los ntawm tus neeg nws tus kheej thiab los ntawm nws tsim. Tsis tas li, kev xav yuav tsis muaj dab tsi ua nrog "thuam". Nws yog qhov yooj yim kwv yees tias kev ua phem tsis ua rau muaj kev txhim kho thiab pab, tab sis qhov nws ua tau zoo yog nws tsim kom muaj kev noj qab haus huv los tiv thaiv lossis tawm tsam hauv kev teb.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Nyob ntawm qhov ntau npaum li cas nws tuaj yeem cais nws tus kheej ntawm qhov raug "thuam." Yog tias nws cais zoo, nws yuav hnov kev khuv xim, khaus khaus, xav tsis thoob. Yog tias nws tsis zoo, nws yuav xav tias nws raug tawm tsam, mus rau kev tiv thaiv thiab ua rau nws tus kheej poob qis.

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Nres thiab thim rov qab. Sim nkag siab qhov twg koj npau taws, thiab koj li keeb kwm ntawm koj tus kheej lub neej li cas (lossis keeb kwm ntawm koj kev sib raug zoo nrog hom no, tib neeg, kev lag luam) ua rau npau taws no. Yog tias pom ib qho chaw, xa cov lus tawm tswv yim hauv hom ntawv "Lub sijhawm no … Kuv xav / npau taws, vim … Kuv xav tias nws tseem ceeb rau koj / koj yuav tsum paub qhov no, vim tias …". Yog tias qhov chaw tsis pom, cia txhua tus nyob ib leeg thiab tsuas yog nrog koj tus kheej ntxiv, vim tias taug qab qhov tshwm sim ntawm kev ua phem yog nyob hauv koj qhov kev txaus siab.

5. Cov kws tshaj lij ua yeeb yam

Piv txwv:

Cov lus qhia tsis xav tau thiab lus qhuab qhia raws li xav tau, kev ua yeeb yam hais txog qhov tsis txaus, cov lus qhia zais rau hauv cov lus nug, kev paub, kev nkag siab, kev qhia tawm tswv yim, kev sim siv kev coj ua thiab "kev cob qhia" (tsis zoo thiab txhawb qhov zoo)

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Ua ntej, Kuv yuav hais meej tias rau kuv lo lus "kev tshaj lij" tsis muaj lub ntsiab lus tsis zoo. Peb txhua tus kws tshaj lij hauv qee yam, thiab feem ntau sib qhia peb cov kev paub nrog ib leeg, yam tsis muaj hierarchy. Hais lus hauv kab lus no yog hais txog kev rov ua dua tshiab. Ua tus kws tshaj lij dhau los yog khawb ntxaum ntawm koj tus PTSD, vim tias "kev thuam" nws tus kheej hais txog tias koj paub txhua yam zoo dua. Hauv qee kis, nws tseem yog kev sim sib tw lossis tus neeg nyob qis qis (piv txwv li muaj kev ua phem). Koj cov lus yuav suav nrog cov lus muaj txiaj ntsig (muaj cov kws tshaj lij tiag tiag), tab sis txhua yam uas nthuav tawm hauv daim ntawv no yuav tsis mus txog lub hom phiaj, vim tias leej twg yuav cuam tshuam tam sim ntawd los ntawm lub hau. Tsuas yog thaum nws yog neeg ntseeg Vajtswv, tej zaum.

Raws li qhov piv txwv, Kuv xav hais txog qhov ib txwm muaj (thiab feem ntau tsis tsim nyog) txoj haujlwm ntawm hyperexamination hauv txiv neej cuam tshuam nrog poj niam. Rau cov lus nug. Nws txawm muaj nws lub npe - kev sib hloov.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Nyob ntawm qhov mob hnyav ntawm nws qhov ua rau nws tus kheej. Yog tias nws tau hais tawm zoo, tom qab ntawd nws yuav raug mob, tej zaum yuav raug mob, zoo li nws yuav mob siab dua koj thiab txaj muag. Yog tias nws tau hais tawm tsis zoo, nws yuav tsis pom, luag lossis tsis txaus siab.

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Tawm tag nrho cov ntsiab lus raws li nws yog. Xav txog koj lub siab nyiam tiag tiag, ua kom du tawm tsam Ego thiab tshem tawm qhov tshaj ntawm kev tshaj lij. Yog tias nws nyuaj, tom qab ntawd xav txog tias koj tab tom ua ib qhov haujlwm nrog ib tus npoj yaig, thiab ob leeg yog lub luag haujlwm rau qhov tshwm sim thiab txhawj xeeb (tab sis nws poob rau nws tshaj tawm).

6. Qhov yuav tsum tau ntawm kev xav

Piv txwv:

Cov lus tsis raug siv, xim tsis raug, nws yuav tsum tau sib txawv, qhov me me no ua rau txhua yam puas tsuaj, zoo, puas yog nws tuaj yeem ua tau tiag tiag, koj ua txhua yam tsis raug, koj tsis coj qhov no mus rau hauv kev xav, dhau lawm, thiab txhua yam ntxiv los ntawm koob "koj tsis sawv zoo li ntawd, tsis xuav zoo li ntawd."

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Qhov no feem ntau yog tus saib qhov kev ua tiav zoo. Nagging nyhav mus rau qee yam me me uas tau hais tawm "tsis raug" uas cov neeg ua tiav zoo yuav luag mob lub cev. Yog li ntawd, kho lawv zoo li tseem ceeb dua li lub hom phiaj tseem ceeb nws tus kheej, thiab qhov tseem ceeb tau hloov pauv. Qhov tseeb, qhov no yog qhov yuav tsum muaj ntawm qhov kev xav, thiab kev xav ntawm qhov pom ntawm ib tus neeg sab nrauv tshwj xeeb. Txhawm rau ua tiav nws, lwm tus neeg yuav tsum tau nyob hauv koj lub taub hau thiab paub yuav ua li cas koj txoj kev. Vim li cas nws? Ntau zaus ntau dua, peb yuav tsis, vim nws tsis yog qhov tseeb uas hauv koj lub tswv yim zoo dua. Txawm hais tias nws tuaj yeem ua rau raug mob nrog cov lus thov no - peb muaj lub ntiaj teb tsis txaus ntseeg, qhov uas ntau tus raug lom los ntawm kev npau suav txog cov khoom lag luam zoo tshaj plaws thiab tsis muaj peev xwm txhawb lawv tus kheej thaum ua yuam kev.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Nyob ntawm qhov mob hnyav ntawm nws tus kheej, nrog rau qhov tsis txaus ntseeg (cov lus txaus ntshai!). Yog tias lawv tau hais tawm zoo, tom qab ntawd nws yuav "kis" los ntawm koj thiab yuav hnov tias txhua yam ploj lawm, vim tias kev xav tsis tau tiav thiab nws tsis txaus siab rau koj. Yog tias lawv tau hais tawm tsis zoo, nws yuav tsis muaj kev cuam tshuam. Tej zaum nws tseem yuav sim ua kom koj nqig, vim kev saib qhov kev tsim txom ntawm tus kws ua kom tiav yog qhov nyuaj heev.

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Nws nyuaj heev los tawm tsam kev ua neeg zoo tag nrho, vim tias nws lub hauv paus yog qhov mob: ib yam dab tsi ua tsis tau zoo txaus, thiab qhov tshwm sim tau kim heev. Cov cuab ntxiab no tuaj yeem ua haujlwm tag nrho koj lub neej, tab sis lwm tus neeg, tau kawg, tsis muaj dab tsi ua nrog nws. Yog li rau kev thuam nws yog qhov zoo dua los teeb tsa nws li I-messages: "Kuv xav tias nws yog qhov tseem ceeb heev los hloov ntawm no.. thiab ntawm no … Vim tias …". Tseeb, ntawm no peb yuav tsum nco txog nqe 1 - puas yog lwm tus neeg xav tau cov ntaub ntawv hais txog koj thiab koj yuav tsum ua raws nraim li cas? Nws kuj tseem pab ua siab ncaj teb cov lus nug, tiag tiag koj tuaj yeem, yog li ntse, ua dab tsi uas lwm tus ua tau zoo dua? Thiab tib lub sijhawm? Cov lus teb ib txwm yog "tsis yog," yog tsuas yog vim tias cov khoom lag luam ntawm lwm tus neeg yog nws, thiab kom deb li deb koj tsuas muaj qhov txhab ntawm nws qhov tsis zoo. Tom qab ntawd nws yuav zoo dua yog tsis hais dab tsi.

7. Kev txo nqi

Piv txwv:

Vim li cas koj thiaj xav tau nws tag nrho, koj tsis xav ua nws, tab sis hauv Soviet lub sijhawm peb nyob yam tsis muaj nws thiab tsis muaj dab tsi, nws tsis muaj ntsiab lus, siv sijhawm ntau npaum li cas koj thiaj nkim sijhawm, thiab lwm yam.

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Au, qhov no yog lub ntsiab lus tseem ceeb ntawm txhua tus neeg thuam, vim tias cov lus muaj nyob hauv kab lus luv nqi yog "koj tsis tau ua dab tsi tiag." Nws nyuaj rau xav txog qee yam kev puas tsuaj ntau dua. Qhov no tsis tuaj yeem raug thuam los ntawm kev txhais, vim nws tsis muaj chaw txaus rau kev thuam. Vim li cas koj thiaj xav nullify lwm tus neeg cov txiaj ntsig tau yog lo lus nug loj: qee zaum nws yog qhov kev xav ncaj ncees "nws yuav zoo dua yog tias nws tsis yog", qee zaum nws yog kev ua phem phem, qee zaum nws yog kev sib tw, thiab lwm yam. Hauv feem ntau ntawm cov xwm txheej, qhov no kuj yog lus dag tseeb, vim tias yog qhov txiaj ntsig tsis muaj txiaj ntsig tiag tiag, yuav tsis muaj ib yam dab tsi rau xoom. Yog li ntawd, cov neeg uas siv cov nyiaj poob qis poob rau hauv lawv tus kheej cuab - txij li lub zog siv los ntawm lawv kom meej meej qhia txog qib tseem ceeb ntawm lub hom phiaj ntawm "kev thuam" rau lawv.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Kev txo nqi yog kev tiv thaiv narcissistic. Yog tias tus neeg koj tab tom thuam muaj qhov hais ua lus tsis txaus ntseeg, tom qab ntawd nws yuav kis tus kab mob (uas yog, nws yuav pib paub nws tus kheej tsis tseem ceeb), lossis nws yuav raug mob.

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Lub ntsiab lus no tsis yog. Nws yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws tsis hais dab tsi, tab sis xav txog vim li cas koj thiaj raug ntxias kom tig qee yam mus rau xoom thiab tom lwm tus neeg lub Ego.

8. Yuav tsum muaj kev txwv

Kev ntim khoom yog lub peev xwm rau txheej txheem kev xav yam tsis muaj kev txwv, ib yam ntawm kev zom zaub mov uas ua rau lawv nqa tau.

Piv txwv:

"Loud" (hais txog lub zog) cov lus hais txog koj kev xav thiab kev nkag siab nrog cov ncauj lus kom ntxaws ("Kuv yuav ntuav tam sim no"), thuam cov kev xav no, nthuav tawm koj tus kheej li koj tus neeg raug tsim txom, qhia "raug mob" thiab teeb meem uas tshwm sim vim ntawm koj, quaj tsis meej ("Aaaa oooh frrrr ay-yay-yay kapets!"), thiab lwm yam.

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Cia kuv qhia meej tias kuv tsis txhais hais tias kev sib raug zoo tiag tiag nyob qhov twg ib tus neeg raug kev puas tsuaj, tab sis tsuas yog hom tib neeg cov kev xav zoo li qub, yam yooj yim uas yuav tsum tsis txhob ua rau mob. Kev thov kom muaj kev tiv thaiv, thaum tsis muaj kev sib raug zoo, tsuas yog kev sim tua nws lub nroog Yeiuxalees uas kub hnyiab rau lwm tus neeg, vim tias yog 1) muaj kev ntseeg siab tias nws yog tus uas tau liam rau qhov hluav taws thiab yuav tsum pab tua hluav taws, lossis 2) koj xav rau txim rau nws vim koj tsis xis nyob los ntawm kev hlawv (uas koj tsis xav daws nrog koj tus kheej). Lub tshuab ua haujlwm tsis hais txog qhov ua rau muaj tseeb ntawm hluav taws, uas tuaj yeem yog (thiab feem ntau yog) tus kheej. Raws li kuv tus npoj yaig Polina Gaverdovskaya hais tias, qhov uas nws tuav nws, nws tso nws tseg, yog lawm, yog tias nws tswj tau hle nws lub ris. Nws yog qhov xav paub tias feem ntau "cov neeg raug tsim txom" siv cov khoom no ntau npaum li lub zog uas peb txhua tus muaj (thiab qhov no yog ib qho cim qhia tias koj yuav tsum tsis txhob txhawj txog lawv).

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Qee tus neeg xav tsis meej pem, vim tias, qhov tseeb, rau qee qhov laj thawj lawv tab tom ua ib yam dab tsi nrog sab laug hauv lawv, thiab lawv thov kom ua qee yam txog nws. Lwm tus (tsis lees paub lub luag haujlwm, lossis ua rau muaj kev xav ntawm kev ua txhaum) tuaj yeem raug ntxias thiab pib muaj kev mob siab rau.

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Tshem qhov ntxoov ntxoo ntawm qhov yuav tsum tau ua thiab muab nws tso rau hauv daim ntawv "qhia kab": "Kuv tau txais qhov kev xav tias … Tej zaum kuv tsis nyob ib leeg / nyob ib leeg thiab yog tias qhov no tsis yog koj lub hom phiaj, tom qab ntawd nco ntsoov." Nws kuj tseem muaj txiaj ntsig rau koj tus kheej los txiav txim siab vim li cas koj thiaj xav tau lossis xav nqa koj txoj kev xav mus rau lwm tus. Yog tias qhov no yog qhov muaj kev pheej hmoo ntau ntxiv thiab tsis muaj peev xwm los daws qhov tsis xis nyob, tom qab ntawd txhua yam zoo ib yam, cov no tsis yog teeb meem ntawm lwm tus, thiab qhov no yuav tsum raug coj mus rau hauv tus account.

9. Mus txog qhov xaus

Piv txwv:

Tam sim no txhua yam ploj mus; koj tau ua vim tias …; nws yuav tsis lees paub tag nrho lub tswv yim; txhua yam no yog vim li cas; thiab tseem - cov txuj ci kev sau ntawv xws li hyperbolization, pseudological calculations, thiab lwm yam.

Vim li cas qhov no tsis yog kev thuam:

Vim tias cov no yog kev xav ntawm tus kheej, raws li txoj cai, muaj kev xav tob (txawm hais tias cov neeg uas pom zoo nrog lawv tuaj yeem ua pawg). Los ntawm sab nraud, nws feem ntau zoo li kev xav tsis meej, ua tsis tiav hauv kev xav lossis kev xav thoob ntiaj teb, vim tias tus sau feem ntau tsis tuaj yeem ua pov thawj nws qhov xaus. Qhov tseeb dua, nws xav tias nws tuaj yeem ua tau, tab sis cuam tshuam nrog nws ob txhais ceg thiab ntog. Los ntawm lub ntsiab lus, qhov kev qw no tsis tuaj yeem pab txhawb kev txhim kho - txhua yam tshwm sim hauv "kev thuam" lub taub hau, yog li koj tsis muaj zog ntawm no.

Ib tus neeg xav li cas thaum nws "raug thuam" li no:

Kev chim siab, npau taws, tsis meej pem, tsis pom kev - nyob ntawm qhov rhiab rau qhov tshwm sim ntawm lwm tus. Cov neeg ruaj khov tuaj yeem ua rau nws luag:)

Yuav ua li cas tig mus rau qhov raug thuam:

Yog tias koj xav tau qhov no, sim ua ntej koj tshaj tawm qhov kev txiav txim sab nrauv, ua rau nws tus kheej thuam, nrhiav "txuas tsis muaj zog" hauv koj qhov kev xav. Ib txoj hauv kev zoo rau qhov no - xav txog tias koj yuav tsum tau rov hais dua koj txoj haujlwm, koj siv cov lus sib cav twg? Feem ntau, tom qab qhov kev tsis sib haum xeeb sab hauv no, nws hloov tawm tias tsis muaj ib yam yuav hais tau, txij li qhov tsis sib cav tau tig los ua qhov tsis sib haum xeeb. Yog tias tseem tshuav qee yam hais, muab nws ua qhov kev xav thiab qhia "Vim li cas nws zoo li rau kuv tias … Koj xav li cas?"

* * *

Koj puas nkees? Tsis muaj dab tsi, nws dhau sai sai. Peb tau txiav txim siab yuav ua li cas thiaj tsis thuam, thiab vim li cas. Tam sim no cia mus rau qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws - yuav thuam li cas. Yuav npaj koj cov lus li cas thiaj li tsis ua mob rau koj, tsis txo qis, tsis ua phem, tab sis txhawb thiab txhawb nqa.

Cov cim ntawm kev thuam zoo:

nws los ntawm txoj haujlwm "xub pwg xub pwg nrog tus sau";

nws muaj kev hwm, uas yog, suav nrog kev ua haujlwm ntawm lwm tus neeg thiab / lossis qhov txiaj ntsig ntawm txoj haujlwm no;

nws txhawb kom hloov pauv;

nws nthuav tawm kev nkag siab (nkag siab) txog yuav ua li cas qee yam tuaj yeem txhim kho;

nws tsis ua mob rau tus kheej. Qhov zoo tshaj, nws tsis txhawj txog nws txhua qhov, vim tias tsis tuaj yeem xav ua phem rau lwm tus Ego txhawm rau qhia koj txoj kev xav.

Yuav thuam li cas:

1. Pib nrog qee yam zoo thiab qhuas nws zoo. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb ua qhov no ua tsaug, uas yog, kom pom qhov zoo hauv qhov kev thuam, thiab sau kom ntxaws vim li cas nws zoo li tseem ceeb rau koj. Kev qhuas cuav yog qhov paub tau yooj yim;
2. Muab tag nrho koj cov kev xav tsis zoo tso tseg kom tsis txhob cuam tshuam kev tiv thaiv. Tsis txhob txwv kev xav txhua - cia li tso tseg ib pliag, vim lawv yuav thab koj;
3. Yog tias koj qhov kev thuam yog hais lus, siv kev txhawb zog sov, siv lub cev zoo, thiab luag ntxhi. Cia kuv hnov koj lub siab zoo. Yog tias sau - tib yam, hauv qhov muaj peev xwm ntawm cov ntawv luam tawm;
4. Thaum txuas mus rau cov ntsiab lus tseeb ntawm cov lus pom, tsis txhob siv cov kab lus qhia, siv I -message: hloov "koj tsis raug" - "Kuv tsis pom zoo." Qhov no yuav zam qhov kev liam liam;
5. Ua kom raug thiab ntxaws li sai tau hauv kev piav qhia qhov tseem ceeb, yam xav tau hloov pauv thiab txhim kho. Xav paub ntau ntxiv zoo dua;
6. Tsom ntsoov rau tus cwj pwm / khoom / tsim, tsis yog tus neeg. Yog li koj yuav cawm nws ntawm qhov kev xav "Kuv ua txhaum li cas, Kuv yuav mus thiab pw hauv hav txwv yeem";
7. Sim nkag mus rau txoj haujlwm ntawm kev thuam, ua siab ncaj sim ntawm daim tawv nqaij ntawm ib tus neeg uas twb tau ua haujlwm hnyav - thiab tsis tshaj tawm tias txhua yam phem npaum li cas los ntawm koj tus kheej txoj haujlwm. Qee zaum tom qab ntawd nws tau pom meej tias qee cov ntsiab lus ntawm koj qhov kev thuam yog yooj yim rau lub suab dua li ua, muab txhua yam uas nws twb tau txiav txim siab lawm. Thiab qee qhov yuav tsum tau ua txawv dua li koj xav;
8. Tsis txhob hais ntau dhau ib zaug. Txwv koj tus kheej rau ob lossis peb lub ntsiab lus, ntxiv tuaj yeem ntxiv yog tias muaj kev sib tham;
9. Cia peb npaj cov kev daws teeb meem, piv txwv li txheej txheem cov lus qhia uas koj tuaj yeem coj thiab siv tam sim ntawd. Yog tias tsis muaj cov npaj tau ua, tuaj nrog tsawg kawg ib qho, txawm tias nws yog raw. Qhov no yuav ua rau nws yooj yim dua rau tus neeg thuam;
10. Nco ntsoov xaus nrog qee yam zoo, thiab rov hais dua - qhuas nrog qhov zoo thiab nthuav dav. Zoo dua koj mob stroke thaum pib thiab thaum kawg, qhov nruab nrab yuav zoo dua.

Yog tag nrho. Cov uas tau nyeem qhov no deb yog cov phooj ywg zoo thiab cov phab ej! Thaum kawg, Kuv xav kom txhua tus phab ej ib yam dab tsi.

Thov nco ntsoov: lub hom phiaj ntawm koj kev cuam tshuam yog los pab ib tus neeg kom zoo dua qub, kho qhov teeb meem. Koj tsis tau so nrog kev thuam, koj tsis ua haujlwm tawm ntawm koj kev ntxhov siab, koj tsis khawb koj tus kheej. Yog tias koj ua, nres thiab xav yog tias koj muaj cov lus pom tseeb lossis yog tias koj tsuas yog xav tham nrog ib tus neeg. Yog tias koj xav pab tiag tiag, xyuas kom koj cov lus tawm tswv yim muaj cov lus no tseeb. Nws nyuaj heev rau cais lub ntsiab los ntawm qib thib ob, tab sis qhov kev thuam zoo tshaj yog qhov tseeb tshaj plaws thiab ua tib zoo xav tshaj plaws ib qho. Txog qhov thuam, nws tseem yog qhov yooj yim tshaj plaws, vim tias nws tuaj yeem raug coj mus ua haujlwm tam sim. Nrog rau qhov kev thuam no, cov teeb meem thiab txoj hauv kev los daws lawv tau pom meej heev. Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, tus neeg thuam tsis tau txais "nyiaj pub dawb" hauv daim ntawv ntawm kev ntxhov siab, txo qis kev xav thiab kev xav ntawm nws tus kheej tsis raug.

Saib xyuas ib leeg - ob qho tib si uas koj thuam (vim tias muaj tsawg tus neeg hauv ntiaj teb uas ua yam tsawg kawg yog qee yam) thiab cov uas thuam (vim tias cov neeg uas mob siab rau tiag tiag, feem ntau, tsawg leej).

Xaus.

Yog, raws li kev tawm dag zog, koj tuaj yeem hais lus thuam hauv cov lus uas koj tsis nyiam, thiab peb txhua tus yuav txhim kho nws thiab hloov nws mus rau qhov raug:)