2024 Tus sau: Harry Day | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 15:46
Tsis ntev los no kuv tau sau tias kuv hloov tus kws kho mob hlwb, hloov pauv ntawm gestalt mus rau kev xav txog lub hlwb (3 zaug hauv ib lub lis piam). Plunging rau hauv zej zog ntawm cov kws paub txog kev puas siab puas ntsws, kuv xav tsis thoob tias cov kws kho mob hlwb tau ua haujlwm tau ntau caum xyoo (20-30 xyoo txhua) tseem mus rau lawv tus kheej kev kho mob thiab hloov pauv tus kws kho mob (txhua 7-10 xyoo).
Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb los hloov tus kws kho mob hlwb tsis yog ib xyoos ib zaug, tab sis ib zaug txhua 7-10 xyoo - qhov no yog lub voj voog uas tso cai rau koj pib thiab ua tiav kev kho mob tag nrho. Yog tias peb txiav txim siab tob, muaj txiaj ntsig zoo thiab muaj kev kho mob hlwb, ib xyoos tsuas yog muab rau thaum pib thiab ua tiav kev kho mob. Kev tsim ntawm peb lub siab lub ntsws tshwm sim los ntawm kev yug los, thiab thaum muaj hnub nyoog 7-10 nws twb tau tsim lawm. Kwv yees li tib lub sijhawm xav tau rau kev kho mob kom ua tiav txhua qhov nuances. Vim li cas thiaj xav tau ntau tus kws kho mob? Cov kws kho mob hlwb feem ntau rov mob siab rau tom ntej ntawm cov neeg siv khoom, thiab nws tseem ceeb heev rau "ntaub plaub" koj lub neej ntau zaus. Yog tias tus kws kho mob tsis muaj nws tus kheej txoj kev kho mob, nws yog qhov txaus ntshai tshaj lij thiab cuam tshuam ncaj qha rau cov neeg siv khoom.
Yog li vim li cas thiaj yuav tsum tus kws kho paj hlwb muaj nws tus kheej txoj kev kho?
Thawj thiab qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws cuam tshuam rau qhov zoo yog qhov tob. Yog tus kws kho mob nws tus kheej tsis tau kho txaus, nws tsis nkag siab nws tus kheej zoo, tsis tuaj yeem nkag siab nws lub siab, raug mob, thiab tus menyuam qhov xwm txheej. Qhov no yog tias muaj kev kho mob hlwb me me. Yog tias nws tsis muaj nyob txhua qhov, qib tob yuav zoo li xoom. Thiab ib qho ntxiv kev xaiv - muaj kev kho mob, nws txaus, tab sis tam sim no nws tsis yog, tom qab ntawd tus kws kho mob tau rov ua kom rov zoo ib yam ntxiv rau nws cov neeg siv khoom, uas yuav cuam tshuam rau nws txoj haujlwm. Vim li cas? Kev ua haujlwm ntawm tus kws kho mob hlwb yog ib txwm ua haujlwm ntawm koj tus kheej. Tsis muaj lwm txoj hauv kev los muab kev pabcuam zoo rau tus neeg siv khoom yog tias koj tsis tau dhau qhov kev paub dhau los ntawm koj tus kheej. Hais lus zoo, tau mloog tus neeg hauv kev sib tham, tus kws kho mob, txhawm rau nkag siab nws txoj kev xav, nug cov lus nug: "Kuv puas tau muaj kev paub zoo ib yam? Yog tias muaj, thaum twg?"
Yog tias qhov no yog kev kho tus kws kho mob tsis txaus, kev paub thiab kev paub yuav raug kaw los ntawm nws, tsis muaj kev nyuaj siab, lossis muaj kev tsis lees paub ("Tsis yog, qhov no tsis yog rau kuv!"), Raws li, nws yuav tsis tuaj yeem tsa qhov zoo sib xws kev paub thiab muaj txiaj ntsig zoo rau cov neeg siv khoom. Ib txwm, nws tsis tas yuav tsum dhau los ntawm txhua qhov kev paub hauv lub neej (piv txwv li, muaj mob qog noj ntshav txhawm rau nkag siab tus neeg mob qog noj ntshav), nws txaus los ua mob hnyav. Nws yog qhov tseem ceeb kom tuaj yeem sau ntau yam kev paub dhau los, thiab tus kws kho mob no kawm los ntawm lawv txoj kev kho mob.
Yog tias tus kws kho paj hlwb muaj ntau yam kev paub tsis tau tiav, koj yuav hnov nws hauv cov txheej txheem kho - zoo li yog koj tig rau hauv ib qho chaw, swb, tsis mus tob dua, tab sis tsuas yog ib sab thiab xav txog qhov teeb meem. Tias yog vim li cas kev saib xyuas tseem ceeb rau tus kws kho mob! Rau qee qhov laj thawj ntawm tus kheej, tus kws kho mob (txawm tias kho!) Tej zaum yuav tsis pom qee yam, tab sis thaum nws mus rau kev saib xyuas thiab koom nrog lwm tus npoj yaig, lwm qhov no yuav pom.
Tus kws kho mob yam tsis muaj nws tus kheej txoj kev kho yog qhov ua rau qaug zog, hauv lwm lo lus, lub peev xwm ntawm kev xav yuav zoo li xoom. Raws li, hauv kev sib tham nws yuav nyuaj siab rau nws, thiab koj yuav hnov nws. Nws kuj tshwm sim tias tus kws kho mob yuav tsis tuaj yeem koom nrog koj txoj kev xav, thiab koj yuav xav tias raug tso tseg, tso tseg, nkag siab yuam kev. Vim li cas qhov no tshwm sim? Nws yooj yim tsis tuaj yeem muaj txoj sia nyob nrog koj, tsis pab txhawb kev xav, ua neej nyob thiab quaj. Raws li qhov tshwm sim, koj yuav tsis tuaj yeem ua haujlwm dhau ntawm kev raug mob kom raug, thiab kev paub dhau los yog lub ntsiab tseem ceeb ntawm kev kho lub hlwb nws tus kheej txhawm rau txhawm rau daws qhov kev chim siab thaum yau thiab kev ntxhov siab. Txog qhov no, tus kws kho mob yuav tsum nrog koj, yuav tsum nkag siab koj txoj kev xav, koom nrog lawv, muaj peev xwm nkag siab, txhawb nqa. Cov kev paub sib qhia, uas feem ntau tsis muaj rau cov neeg feem coob, yog kev raug mob. Tus kws kho mob tsis tuaj yeem ntsib koj qhov mob vim nws tsis tuaj yeem ntsib nws tus kheej qhov mob. Vim li ntawd, qhov mob yuav nyob twj ywm thiab koj yuav ploj mus nrog nws.
Replaying yog qhov kev xaiv phem tshaj. Txawm li cas los xij, tseem yuav muaj txoj hlua khi tsis yog rau qee qhov tsis muaj txuj ci kev ntseeg. Ua li cas? Yog tias tus kws kho mob tsis tau kho nws qhov kev raug mob, tsis tau ua haujlwm zoo, tsis tau tawm los ntawm qee qhov nyuaj thiab tsis tuaj yeem tiv taus, tsis tau kho lub siab, nws tuaj yeem rub koj mus rau cov xwm txheej uas ua rau tsis muaj kev noj qab haus huv tag nrho. Piv txwv li, tus kws kho mob txiav txim siab koj qhov kev nrhiav nyiaj loj los ua neeg vwm thiab txaj muag rau nws. Qhov no tham txog dab tsi? Tus kws kho mob muaj qhov raug mob rau tus kheej, nws tau txaj muag rau qhov no, lossis tej zaum nws muaj kev paub tsis raug (tsis yog xam tawm vim li cas nws thiaj li tseem ceeb rau nws cov neeg siv khoom kom tau txais ntau, tus neeg txaj muag). Hauv kev muaj tiag, cov kev coj ua hauv kev sib tham, thaum cov neeg siv khoom txaj muag rau lawv txoj kev cia siab thiab kev ntseeg, tsuas yog txhais tau tias qib qis ntawm kev tshaj lij. Tus kws kho mob hlwb yuav tsum tsis txhob ua qhov no, nws tsuas yog tsis muaj txoj cai los ua nws - nws txoj haujlwm tsis yog ntsuas tus neeg, tab sis kom nkag siab tias vim li cas qhov no tshwm sim rau nws, tshuaj xyuas qhov laj thawj, xav seb nws xav tau txais dab tsi. thiab txaus siab rau nws qhov kev cia siab. Lub tswv yim tseem ceeb yog txhua tus neeg zoo, nrog lub hom phiaj zoo, ib txwm muaj.
Yog tias muaj qee yam ntawm kev xav tsis txaus ntseeg, nws nyob ntawm dab tsi, nws tuaj yeem ua li cas? Lub luag haujlwm ntawm tus kws kho mob hlwb yog nrhiav lub hauv paus, thiab tom qab ntawd txiav txim siab los ntawm tus neeg (kom tshem tawm cov hauv paus no lossis kom paub nws qhov kev raug mob).
Lwm qhov piv txwv - tus kws kho mob nws tus kheej ntshai ntawm kev sib raug zoo, vim li ntawd, hauv txhua txoj hauv kev, nws tuaj yeem thawb tus neeg siv khoom kom deb ntawm kev sib raug zoo (txhawm rau thuam tus khub thoob plaws txhua ntu - thiab ntawm no nws tsis zoo ib yam ntawm no). Ib qho kev xaiv, thaum qhov no yog kev txhawb nqa thaum lub sijhawm sib cais, qee qhov kev xav zoo, lwm qhov kev xaiv yog qhov siab tas li (txhua tus koom tes tsis zoo). Nws kuj tshwm sim tias ib tus neeg ntshai ntawm kev sib raug zoo hauv kev sib raug zoo, thiab koj thiab koj tus khub tau dhau los nyob ze, vim li ntawd, koj txoj kev sib raug zoo tau dubbed codependent, txawm hais tias qhov no tsis yog li ntawd. Qhov tseeb, tsuas yog qee tus ua qhov no, feem ntau tsis raug kho ntawm tus kws kho mob yuav tshaj tawm (koj yuav raug ceeb toom tawm tsam dab tsi tus kws kho mob nws tus kheej ntshai). Qhov no tsis yog hais tias qhov no yog vim muaj lub siab phem, ntawm qhov tsis sib xws! Txawm li cas los xij, tsis muaj kev kho mob hlwb, cov xwm txheej dhau los niaj hnub thiab zoo li niam txiv tus cwj pwm.
Lub ntsiab lus tseem ceeb - tsis txhob cuam tshuam qhov tsis muaj txuj ci ntawm kws paub txog kev puas siab puas ntsws nrog koj kev hloov pauv. Kuv tuaj yeem tshawb xyuas qhov no li cas? Nug koj tus kheej tias puas muaj leej twg ua phem rau koj li menyuam yaus? Koj xav li cas thaum tus kws kho kev puas siab ntsws tsis pom koj los ntawm kev sib raug zoo? Leej twg hauv koj ib puag ncig thaum yau (niam, pog, txiv, yawg,) ua rau koj poob siab los ntawm kev sib raug zoo? Leej twg tshaj tawm: "Kev sib raug zoo tsis zoo, mob thiab txaus ntshai"? Raws li txoj cai, koj yuav pom hloov chaw ntawm no ib yam. Yog li, koj tau txiav txim siab nws, thiab tam sim no mus rau kev kho mob thiab tham txog koj cov kev xav thiab kev xav ("Nws zoo li kuv tias koj tau pib nco kuv txog kuv niam nrog koj tus cwj pwm thaum koj txwv kuv ntawm kev sib raug zoo!"), Yog li koj twb tuaj yeem ntsib qhov tseeb, thiab tsis yog los ntawm lawv qhov kev kwv yees thiab lub tswv yim.
Cov lus nug ntawm kev tsis muaj txuj ci ntawm tus kws kho kev puas siab puas ntsws yog qhov nyuaj. Cov kws kho mob hlwb muaj lawv tus kheej kev coj ncaj ncees, thiab "tsis meej pem" kev sib cuag nrog cov neeg siv khoom (mus rau tom khw, sib deev, thiab lwm yam), kev hloov pauv sai hauv qhov chaw (sijhawm, qhov chaw thiab nqe lus ntawm kev them nyiaj) thiab ua txhaum kev tsis pub lwm tus neeg tham txog kev tsis muaj txuj ci. Ntxiv mus, txhua yam sib txawv ntawm qib siab rau koj, koj txoj kev xav ntawm kev tshuaj xyuas sab nrauv ntawm cov teeb meem uas koj tau hais txog. Koj tuaj yeem tawm tsam, tab sis ib tus kws kho mob txoj haujlwm yog txhawm rau tiv nrog koj qhov kev tawm tsam, hnov nws, ntes nws, tuav tus tw, thiab tsawg kawg qhia koj txog nws. Yog tias koj xav tias koj tau nyam hauv kev kho mob, tsis paub tias koj tab tom tawm tsam hauv cheeb tsam no thiab tsis nkag siab vim li cas, tom qab ntawd txoj kev kho mob tau nyam thiab koj tus kws kho mob tsis tau txais qhov kev tawm tsam no (lossis tsis hais nws). Ua ntej koj txiav txim siab zaum kawg, siv sijhawm tsawg kawg 3-5 zaug los qhia meej tias muaj dab tsi tshwm sim. Xwb, koj tuaj yeem thov rau kev saib xyuas kev kho mob (yog tias koj tsis nkag siab tias muaj dab tsi tshwm sim hauv koj txoj kev kho thiab yuav ua li cas, hu rau lwm tus kws kho mob thiab sim nrhiav kev hloov pauv lossis nkag siab qhov teeb meem ntawm kev tshaj lij ntawm koj tus kws kho mob hlwb).
Pom zoo:
Tus Kws Paub Txog Kev Puas Siab Ntsws Svetlana Royz: Cov Niam Txiv Yuav Tsum Nco Ntsoov Thiab Khaws Cia Hauv Lawv Tus Kheej Qhov Kev Xav Tias Tsis Yog Menyuam Yaus Yog Rau Tsev Kawm Ntawv, Tab Sis Tsev Kawm Ntawv Yog Rau Menyuam
Lub ntiaj teb tab tom hloov pauv, thiab niam txiv los ntawm txhua sab tau txhawb kom qhia lawv cov menyuam yaus tsis yog, ua tib zoo nyeem, suav thiab suav, tab sis kuj tseem muaj tswv yim, kev xav tseem ceeb … Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, cov niam txiv niaj hnub no lawv tus kheej xav tias qaug zog thiab muaj kev nyuaj siab los ntawm tsis muaj sij hawm.
YUAV UA LI CAS YUAV MUAJ MUAJ MUAJ MUAJ MUAJ MUAJ MUAJ MUAJ MUAJ MOB MUAJ MOB? Thiab Nws Puas Tsim Nyog Nws?
Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb los txiav txim siab qhov koj xav tau - txiv neej lossis nyiaj? Qhov tseeb, koj xav tau dab tsi ntxiv? Koj puas xav tau tus txiv neej nyob hauv tsev, leej txiv ntawm koj cov menyuam yav tom ntej, tus hlub ntxim nyiam, phooj ywg zoo lossis miv nyob ntawm koj lub ris?
Puas Yog Kws Kho Mob Hlwb Haus Luam Yeeb? Puas Yog Lawv Zoo Tag Nrho? Yuav Xaiv Tus Kws Puas Siab Ntsws Li Cas?
Alas, tsis muaj ib yam dab tsi thiab tsis muaj ib tus neeg zoo tshaj hauv ntiaj teb no, thiab kev sim nrhiav qee yam zoo tshaj yog utopia, uas yuav coj koj mus rau qhov kawg tsuas yog qhov tseeb tias koj yuav kaw hauv koj tus kheej, hauv koj tus kheej lub hauv paus thiab kev txwv, lub ntiaj teb sab hauv yuav raug kaw los ntawm lwm tus, thiab kev txhim kho yuav tsum nres.
Cov Ntaub Ntawv Los Ntawm Kev Kho Hlwb: Puas Yog Tus Kws Kho Mob Yuav Tsum Mob Siab Rau Nws Lub Neej Thaum Kho Kev Puas Siab Puas Ntsws?
Tam sim no, nws tau tsa peb tus menyuam nyob ib leeg thiab tab tom sim tsim kev sib raug zoo nrog tus txiv neej tshiab, uas tseem dhau los ua qhov tsis yooj yim heev thiab zoo ib yam li txhua qhov yav dhau los. Raws li qhov tseeb, nws yog qhov teeb meem tseeb ntawm cov kev sib raug zoo uas yog cov quav nyab kawg uas thawb V.
Puas Yog Tus Kws Kho Mob Puas Siab Ntsws Peb Yog Phooj Ywg Lossis Yeeb Ncuab? Luv Luv Txog Dab Tsi Tos Koj Ntawm Kev Sab Laj Nrog Kws Paub Txog Kev Puas Siab Puas Ntsws
Ntau tus ntawm kuv cov neeg siv khoom hais tias mus rau kws kho mob hlwb ua rau lawv ntshai thiab tsis xis nyob. Lub tswv yim heev ntawm mus rau tus kws tshaj lij tau ua rau lawv mob taub hau thiab ntxhov siab. Tab sis qhov xwm txheej tam sim no hauv lawv lub neej tau txaus ntshai dua, tias lawv tau npaj ua ib yam dab tsi los txo qee qhov kev txom nyem thiab, thaum kawg, kom tawm ntawm lub qhov tob ntawm cov teeb meem uas ua rau lawv.
